Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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