I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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