dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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