I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
