On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You made out with two different species that night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
