just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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