We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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