When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
