so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
