i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize