hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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