oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
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