I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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