I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize