Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
as a side note pls kill me
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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