If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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