Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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