I feel great
I just peed on a car
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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