I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
