just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
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