So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
