He kissed a someone with a penis
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
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