I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
