I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
