ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
