I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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