If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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