Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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