So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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