Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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