my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
