We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
