member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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