One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
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