I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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