Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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