Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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