Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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