wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i need some magic done to my vagina
We are all done wearing pants today
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize