You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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