I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
