Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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