i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
