Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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