Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
