At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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