you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
