The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
