come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
