You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
