I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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