you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
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Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize