well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
jump out the window naked night went bad
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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