if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
