sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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