are you still at the devil's house?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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