She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I would ride that face into the sunset
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
