ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
