just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
