i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
