So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Never let your siblings swipe right.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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