so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
