i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
