therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
What a dumb baby whore.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
